See Mommy Work

The B*tch In The House

Posted on: April 1, 2011

Some years ago I came across this book edited by Cathi Hanauer, comprised of a series of essays written by 26 different women.  I was intrigued by the title, partly because I felt (and still feel at times) that I have to constantly struggle to keep my own Inner B*tch in check.  Some days I do a much better job than others.

The best thing about reading the book was the honesty of the women writers.  They said things I had been feeling inside (and fighting to keep in) for years.  It made me feel instantly validated.  Women in my mom’s generation rarely talked about their frustrations, anger, and stress out loud, they mostly silently suffered their place in life.  This book changed all that for me.  I was relieved to find out that I wasn’t the only one walking around like a ticking time bomb, waiting for some small thing to tick me off and send me to the point of no return.   

As I’ve grown into motherhood I have realized how important it is to air my stress and frustration out in the open, which is one of the reasons why I love writing this blog.  I have come to terms with the fact that the stresses of working and parenting often leave me teetering on the edge of irritability.  I have always known and admitted I am not perfect; the difference is that I no longer make apologies for my shortcomings.  Instead, I strive to be proactive, nourishing myself and becoming my own best friend and staunchest advocate.

When I realize I have brought the dark cloud of irritability over my house I treat it like the “check engine” light on my dashboard.  It is a sign that something isn’t quite right, and that I am headed for much bigger issues if I don’t stop and take a good look at what is going wrong.

Read the book review, then do yourself a favor and get the book.  If nothing else, prominent display of that book on your shelf will let other people in your house know exactly where you stand.  If you’ve ever felt like the B*tch in your own house, I invite you to join me in taking ownership of how you feel and let some of it out in the comments below. 

~Michelle

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4 Responses to "The B*tch In The House"

Great post Michelle – so true! I think a lot of times we are like ticking time bombs and we don’t say anything until it is too late and we explode. I like the check engine comparison, I will have to remember that:)

Becky, thanks for stopping by! You are so right about what happens when it is too late. You can only shake the bottle so much when you don’t have a release valve.

I love this post! I was in just that sort of mood when I happened to grab my phone and saw that you had Tweeted about this. I’m really going to have to grab this book and in the mean time I’ll be explaining your check engine analogy to my husband – maybe that’ll help him understand why I need some “nourish” time. 🙂

Great post, Michelle! I too am relieved to find out that I am not the only ticking time bomb. Sounds like a great read, I will definitely be picking this book up soon.

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Michelle St. Onge

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